I don't normally share a lot of photos of my boys here on this blog. I used to think that because of this I would come across as less real or as a blogger who holds back and hides apart of myself. But it's not that at all. As bloggers we choose what part of our lives/thoughts/feelings we share on the internet. People don't see all of us when they read our blogs. Sure they can have an understanding of our hearts, but they'll never really know all of who we are unless, personally, we know them.
I document my childrens lives privately. I want them to have photos and videos to look back on their childhood. But I have an overprotective mama instinct where I don't like to share photos of them too often publicly. There are just too many crazy things that can/do happen on the internet.
Plus this is a space mainly for my thoughts, feelings, ideas, hopes, motherhood and marriage insights. Not a personal/family blog.
But tonight I just had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude.
My heart is so so full of love for my two boys.
Being a mom is like having a full time job and then some.
It can wear you out.
If you're exhausted, but your kids don't want to sleep, or you have a sick baby...
You have to push through it until bed time.
If you aren't hungry and don't feel like cooking....too bad. Kids need to be fed; even if it's a simple sandwich or a bowl of cereal. Sometimes being so tired makes you not even want to do that.
But you got to.
Babies/kids depend on you.
But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in life than being a mom.
These boys....they have my heart.
They are both so very very VERY different.
They have changed my heart.
They have shown me such a deep feeling of love that is so pure.
I just want to hug them and kiss them all day long.
One day they won't need me.
But I know I will always need them.