Motherhood is truly the most beautiful thing. My heart is so full right now. I feel so blessed. Which, going off of 1.5 hours of sleep last night because I am a mother, you would think I'd be feeling a bit different. I am so tired right now. It was a long night, but a suprisingly good day, even though neither of my boys napped at all today which means I should be a zombie right now, right? Today was a good day though, my boys were happy, and Kaden even let me have some down time and he was completely content and happy watching a movie. (this never happens. He is a very active little boy, and wants the attention all the time. So this I am grateful for.) I got the dishes done and vaccuumed. We walked down to maverick and I bought the boys their first ice cream cone; which Corbin ate the whole thing! He was in heaven. We went to the park for a bit, and then came back home. I'm ready for bed, but my heart is just so full.
Before having kids, before I was a wife, it was just me. I could go and do anything I wanted when I wanted. If I wanted to sleep in until 1pm I could. If I wanted to lay on the couch all day and just watch movies, I could. However, when I could do those things, and sometimes I would, I would feel gross, lazy and feel like I needed to go be productive. Now, I would kill to do one of those things! ha! It's funny how things change. Before I was a mother, I worried about only myself. I was happy and my life was satisfying, but never in the way that I feel now, after having children.
I feel as if I was born to become a mother. This was my purpose. Bringing children into this world is not an easy task for me, and at times, because of this, I let myself believe I wasn't meant to be a mother. Satan is powerful and he got a hold of me, good. "If you were meant to be a mom it wouldn't be so hard." I can't believe I let myself fall for all the things he tried to get me to believe. I was meant to be a mother. My children are meant to be mine. They are changing me. I could not, there is no way, I could become the person I want to become without them. They push me and teach me how to be the best version of myself. I want to be and do my best for them. Each of them has such an emotional, unique and special pull on my heart.