Man. Why didn't I do these things and chase after these ambitions and dreams when I was younger? Was it fear? Was it because I thought I couldn't achieve them? Was it because it all seemed so far out of reach? What stopped me? I wonder what my life would be like if..."
Have you ever had these questions pop up in your thoughts? I have. Not to say I'm unhappy in any way at all. I have a beautiful life, a wonderful husband and two precious little boys. There are loooong days, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. A conclusion came to my thoughts about all these questions. My life hasn't played out the way it has because I was afraid of anything. It's simply played out how it has, because this is how I wanted it to...this is what I chose. You see, these thoughts, dreams, ambitions and desires weren't in my thoughts when I was a teenager. I remember as a teenager I wanted to be in love. I wanted a fairytale. I wanted to find that one person who loved me regardless. That was my focus. And when you focus all your thoughts on one thing your actions follow. So my point is...My dream did come true...I found that person who loves me no matter what. I fell in love. I made a choice, followed through with my thoughts, put them into action and whaaala. I'm married with two kids.
My ambitions, dreams and goals have come more to life since I got married. It's because of who I married and where I am in my life right now that has made me want the things I want. Having kids and having a spouse has made me see who I want to become as a daughter of God. Not who I want to become as a mother or wife, but who I myself want to become. Yes, I am a mother and a wife; a good mom and a good wife. But I don't want to be just a wife and mother. When we as women become just a wife and mother we lose ourselves. It's important to be the best wife and mother we can possibly be, yes, but in order to do those we have to become, and be constantly becoming our best selves.