So much of who I am today is because of this woman. I bet our mothers often thought, "man. I hope one day my child grows up and realizes just how much I love them and appreciates all that I did for them." Well mom, I do. I know how much you love me, and I can't even imagine how you were able to make ends meet on a single income while letting me participate in activities that I wanted to do. No clue. Thank you.
Growing up I always, and still do, get comments that I look just like my mom. I hated that growing up...and not going to lie, still sometimes do. Hey, can you blame me? I know my momma's beautiful, it's got nothing to do with that, BUT I like to know I'm my own person. Sometimes my husband will say, "oh my gosh...you sounded just like your mom when you said that." Thanks babe. Thanks a lot. Is it just how life works? Do a lot of girls not like hearing that they sound and look just like their moms? Maybe I'm just weird. Regardless, my mom is beautiful. Guys go wild over her. There aren't many times when I call her and there is not a new story about some guy who wanted to go out on a date with her.
She's super outgoing, when she wants to be, and is very compassionate and loving. She has so much love. She just gives and gives and gives. I know I'm newly married, and I can't just go out and buy my mom vacations and every thing she wants, but I wish I could. I wish I could buy her a cruise to some tropical island and she can just get away and relax. I wish I could take her shopping and buy her a cute new outfit, instead of vice versa. One day. ooooone day.
(this is Corbin when he was obviously a lot younger)
I do things a lot differently when it comes to raising my kids than how she raised me. But that goes for all parents these days. We parent a lot differently than our parents did. We take what we love about our parents way of raising, incorporate it into our style of parenting and learn as we go. My mom was always there for me. When I needed her or just wanted to talk...I knew I always had her full attention. I make a big effort to do that with my kids. My mom always told me that she loved me. every night. There wasn't a day that went by without her uttering the words, "I love you." Little did I know how important those words meant to me at the time. Pretty sure I tell my boys that I love them countless times during the day...over and over. How could you not? I think for the most part, from my mom I took how to love my kids regardless, always put them first, make them feel safe, put aside everything household related to play with your kids, read, sing songs, laugh, be silly. I learned patience. Seriously Corbin? Was it necessary for you to pour your bowl of cereal all over grandmas kitchen floor? haha! Not an ounce of frustration or anger in her tone of voice. (He's two...I can clean it up...no big deal.)
My mom is a fighter. She's been through so much in her life, and I'd like to think I got a lot of that quality in me. Sometimes it's a bad thing because I am determined to do a lot on my own and not want to ask for help. But it can also be a good thing because this quality has made me be able to stand on my own two feet. I decided to live away from my mom before I even turned 18. I wanted freedom. I wanted to make my own choice and live where I wanted to live. Rebellion or fighter? ha! I guess a little bit of both.
(Taking engagment photos, "babe I got this. I can climb a pile of huge lava rocks in red high heels. No problem. Don't worry about me!")
Proof that I think I am awesome and can do anything! ;) I get this from my mom. I thank her for that, because I love knowing I can do anything I set my mind to on my own. That has built me and shaped me into a stronger and sharper lady.
The thing I am most grateful that my mom taught me is how to choose the right guy. In high school I had a few boyfriends, obviously not at the same time! But both of them were those, "I'm in love with the idea of being in love" type of relationships. We'd hold hands and walk around strutting off our new found status of being boyfriend and girlfriend. When I graduated from high school I never really talked to guys or even hung out with guys. I went off to college, served as a nanny overseas and shortly after I returned home from Italy I met Aaron. Aaron was different. I felt safe with him. I opened up to him and he accepted me for me. I told him all my deep secrets and he shared with me his. Growing up I saw my mom go through a lot with men. I never had a good relationship with my dad due to a bad past and just never really growing up with him. Needless to say, I had built up a wall and didn't exactly trust men, at all. I didn't think I'd ever find a guy who didn't act one way when I dated him and turned into a complete stranger once we got married. That seemed to be how all men were in my moms life. Then I met Aaron. I had a hard time at first opening up, it took him a lot of patience and understanding to get me to break down my walls. We had a pretty long engagement/dating stage compared to his other 7 siblings. That was due to my issues. He wanted to get married pretty quick. I was hesitant, but he stuck around. He was smitten. We grew together a lot before we were married. I wasn't in love with the idea of being in love anymore. With Aaron, I began to see what true love was. My mom taught me that love isn't all butterflies and infatuation. Love is deeper. Love is more true. Thank you mom, though your experiences with men were rough, you still somehow managed to teach me how to find true love. That's all a girl could really ask for.
I really wanted to do this post because as I have grown up I have realized just how much my mom really means to me. We are so much a like, it's sometimes is really freaky. We could seriously talk for hours on the phone, we do. I hate that I live four hours away from her, but I know that where I am right now is where my family needs to be. I know that's not what she likes to hear, but it is what it is. I love her so much and am so grateful that she is my mom. I love you mom, so much!