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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

mothers alike

I read an article online about a week ago that, at the time, didn't think I'd still be thinking about a week later. Not that I didn't think it was a good article when I first read it; I just didn't anticipate parts of the article to play back in my mind a week later.  You can read the article HERE.  The article is called "5 Ways We're Making Parenting Harder."  I agree that times have obviously changed, and we have a lot of things for our babies now that didn't exist when our parents were raising us.  I do believe it's okay to raise our children differently than our parents raised us.  That's just the process of life.  We take what we have learned, take the good and leave the bad, hopefully.  However, why is it hard to go to our moms when we need help with something?  Why do we think that they won't know the answer?  Did they not raise us?  Are we not okay with how we grew up?  Our parent's did the best they could with what they had.

I found myself thinking about this when my seven month old wasn't eating his solids.  I had no clue how to get nutrition into him other than his formula.  Corbin started eating solids at five months old and he was preemie!  So to have a child who thinks food is so foreign he won't eat it made me question how to get food into him.  I thought about posting my question to a page on facebook about moms who ask questions to other moms.  I think it's an awesome page, and it's nice to see what other moms have found that works for them in different situations, but then I thought, "um...I have a mom who probably went through something similar to this...I mean she did raise four kids...she's got to have some ideas."  For some reason a part of me didn't want to go to my mom for opinions.  Maybe that's just how we all think sometimes?  But like I said earlier, she probably had some ideas.  So I called her.  Sure enough she had gone through the same thing with one of us kids.  She gave me an excellent idea, and Kaden has been doing good with it!  So he's finally getting some nutrition, other than formula, in his system!  YAY.  thanks mom.

Back to the article...it talks about birthday parties and making everything by hand.  How back when the author was a kid birthday parties consisted of going to her friends house, eating some cake and running around in the backyard.  Now-a-days birthday parties, for one year olds even, consist of months of planning ahead of time, stress, game planning, caterers, hours spent on decorations etc.  Why?  I don't remember my first birthday....the birthdays I do remember once I got a little older weren't all fancy nancy themed.  We played, opened presents and ate some dang cake.  Now, I'm not saying going and decorating cute little decorations or having a "theme" is all bad.  But I don't see what the point of spending months of planning and hundreds of dollars on your children's birthday is.  For my first boys first birthday I made him a cake, decorated the table with a few decorations, we sang, took some photos and opened presesnts.  We didn't have a butt load of people, just family.  It was perfect.

I like pinterest.  I think there are some really fun ideas on there.  However, I think the whole, "make everything by hand..." has gotten a little out of hand.  I agree its nice to save money, and it's even fun sometimes to make things instead of going to buy them (if you're good at sewing.)  But I think it's okay to just buy things if you're not great at sewing or being crafty.  Just because you can't sew a homemade skirt for your little girl or sew a bedskirt doesn't mean you're a bad mom.  You find what works for you and you go with it.  Your children will grow up just fine!  All your children need is love.  They need to feel safe, cared for and loved.   The most prominent thing I know about my childhood is that I was loved.  I look back and remember and know just how much my mom loved me.  I may not have gotten everything I ever wanted, I may not have been able to participate in all the activities I wanted to, but I got what I needed.  I was happy. I was always loved.


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