Sunday, April 28, 2013

My sweet babies

I am so thankful for my two sweet miracle babies.  So grateful that they are here and healthy.  Too many stories lately about miscarriages and preemies not making it.  A friend of mine just watched as her sweet baby nephew, who was born very prematurely, like Corbin, get his angel wings yesterday.  Made me cry.  Never met him but every time I hear that a baby who was born early didn't make it makes me think just how lucky we truly are.  When we were in the Nicu with Corbin I always thought it was just normal for 27 weekers to make it.  Then when he came home and we've watched him grow normally and healthy, I figured it is normal for 27 weekers to have no health issues.  Wrong again.  So very wrong.  Most babies born early have health issues or developmental issues.  I wouldn't love Corbin any less if he had any, but I'm so grateful Heavenly Father saw fit for Corbin to bless our lives just as he did.  He's such a miracle in our eyes.

Then I have my sweet sweet Kaden.  I was always told, "if your first is a preemie you're most likely going to deliver prematurely with any pregnancy afterwards." Terrified me.  But I knew there was another little one waiting to join our family.  But I knew we might not get as lucky to have another miracle baby survive an early delivery.  After much prayer we went ahead and got pregnant again.  Sure enough, my body tried to get that baby out at about 24 weeks.  Even earlier than with Corbin.  We caught the problem luckily and I went in for an emergency surgery to keep our precious baby a cookin for a little longer.  Thank you modern medicine!  The doctors and Aaron and I were just hoping to make it till at least 32 weeks.  But after 4 weeks on hospital bed rest and 6 weeks at home kaden successfully stayed inside the oven till a full 38 weeks!!! Another miracle.  He's perfect.  It's so exciting to wAtch him take all those milestones in accordance to what is "normal" at every month.    

Love my boys. So so grateful.  And I feel so blessed.  I love them with all my heart.  I love how a friend of mine said on her blog "there are no gray areas in [her] heart."  She either loves with a passion o doesn't really care at all.  And her heart is soo full right now.  I couldn't word it better myself.  Aaron and I always wanted 4-5 children, and even having two, even though it can be hard sometimes, we would still do it, but after going through everything with this second pregnancy our thoughts have changed.  Three...maaaaaybe.  Somewhere way down the road.  But I don't know if I can risk another premature high risk pregnancy.  What if my body can't handle it as well?  There are so many worries.  We just have to have faith and when the time comes to consider a third, to pray pray pray.  And see if we're at a stage in our life where we can afford all the things that come with keeping that little one in as long as possible.  Time will tell.

1 comment:

  1. So, I'm glad I found your blog, since you don't have facebook anymore, & I want to stay in contact! :) You are so strong... I think sometimes we don't realize how strong we are, but you have sacrificed so much to bring those 2 little guys into this world, even though it's a sacrifice, it's a blessing too! :D I understand about how many you wanted to have, and how many you will have thing. *Korey wanted 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, 8!! ;) haha. I have really high risk pregnancies as well, I was on bedrest with Autumn 6 1/2 months, even when I wasn't on bedrest, I was so sick I couldn't do anything! And I was really high risk with Chandler too. It's so scary. I wish I could be pregnant right now, and have #3 close to my others, but it's too risky. It's hard! :( Makes me sad... but I know that if we pray to Heavenly Father we will know what's right! :)