Tuesday, March 12, 2013

bullying and other thoughts

So usually I'd just write in my journal, but I have lots on my mind, a lot that I want to share with others.  I was talking with my sister in law on Sunday, and she brought up how many of the apostles have brought up using the web to share gospel or just good messages in general, with others.  The Internet can destroy a lot of relationships, and it has a lot of negativity involved in it, but we have the opportunity  to use it as a good tool as well.  What a blessing it is to be able to communicate with our loved ones this way and to share what we know or believe, to help others be lifted up and to share ideas.

Somebody in my family just recently found out she has a brain tumor. When I heard the news it hit me hard.  Such a scary thing.  When she got the results she found that it is a benign tumor, which means its kind of in the background and not something to panic about.  They'll keep monitoring it to make sure it doesn't grow or affect her in any negative ways, and if it doesn't they will just let it be.  It's still so scary.  Hearing this news made me start to think about our bodies. Our bodies may get sick.  Parts of our bodies may get broken or we may be missing an arm or leg or we may have a cleft pallet or some other abnormality.  But our bodies don't, and shouldn't define who we are.  When we pass from this life our bodies are left behind.  Our Heavenly Father gave us bodies because it was part of the plan.  We needed bodies to survive on this earth. And although sometimes man judges us by our appearance, God does not.  The people who love us do not.  And although we need to take care of our bodies, we need  to remember to put more effort in building up our spirits.  That's what will make the most impact in our lives.  We will better influence the lives of others when our spirits are in mint condition.  We will be a happier person when we nourish our spirit.  So as we grow older and our bodies can surely become weaker; we can still easily make our spirits stronger.

In relief society we talked about how we are raising a very strong and chosen generation.  That has been said for years, however this generation that we are raising now, the babies being born now, the toddlers and adolescents that are here now, there is such an urgency to raise them to know how to recognize the Spirit.  An urgency to teach them all we can to prepare them for whats to come.  They were saved for this time because they are some of the strongest of all of Gods children.  I've heard this before, and in a way it made me a little sad.  Like, oh...I'm not as strong as I thought.  But one of the sisters shared a thought that changed everything.  He may have saved these children for these last days, but He chose US, He chose ME, to be a mother to a few of these strong and chosen children.  He had faith in me that I was strong enough to raise His children in these ridiculously trying times.  So when I feel like I am not doing a good enough job I can remember that Heavenly Father has faith in me, and I can do it.  In fact, every time I allow myself to be down and continue telling myself that I'm not good enough to be a mother, that I'm not ready, or on those days where it's just so so so trying and I keep thinking its so not working, it's just not working today...I'm, in a way, telling my Heavenly Father that He was wrong.  His plan is wrong.  Which it so is not.  So whenever we, as mothers, have those days, we need to remind ourselves that we can do it.  Not alone, never alone, but we can do it with His help.  With our ability to reach to our Father in Heaven and grab divine inspiration, peace, comfort and patience; we can do it. 

One more thing that has been weighing on me deeply is bullying.  I have a friend that was bullied for years and years.  I did not like hearing that.  She is such a beautiful girl, inside and out, and simply because she didn't have pants that were long enough, or clothes that were "in style" she was bullied.  Those kids who bullied her didn't know that her family just couldn't afford new clothes every time she grew a few inches and outgrew her clothes.  They didn't know her family life or anything about her.  Just the fact that her appearance wasn't "up to their par."  So they felt they had the right to put her down and tease her.  Not okay.  Well that was the first encounter I had with knowing someone close that was bullied.  Just recently I came across, personally, with my own two eyes a child, a small young child, being bullied.  broke. my. heart.  bad.  I am still hurt by it.  I couldn't believe it.  As young as they were, I don't believe they knew how much they were hurting this young child's self esteem, but they did know that what they were saying was not nice at all, and they could clearly see how badly it was hurting the other child's feelings.  When I talked to the little child about it I could see how hurt she was.  Later I found out that this wasn't the first incident where this child has been bullied by the same children.  Broke my heart even more.  Serious?  Not even in first grade yet and already being bullied?  Bullying causes so many serious issues in people even to the point of suicide.  I hate it.  So much.  What's even harder to wrap my mind around is the fact that no matter how much we speak up about it, no matter how many times we stop it or share the message that it's wrong, there will always be people who continue to do it.  Just like how the whole world knows smoking and drinking are so terribly bad for our bodies, but people still continue to do it.  My heart just hurts for this little child.  Such a beautiful, smart and funny child sitting with their head between their legs crying because "they wear the same shoes everyday." (which isn't even true) Seriously?? ugh.  And no matter how hard we try and teach and help our children to have self confidence its almost a guarantee that that self confidence will be shot down in their lifetime.  But we need to be there, and surround them with others who can always remind them how beautiful they truly are.  For every self confidence stripper we need to make sure they have double the self confidence boosters.  All children need to feel loved and cared for.  To know that they are special and beautiful.  

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