Pages

Monday, September 10, 2012

Confessions of a mom with a preemie

It's a boy!
(I'll be 18 weeks Wednesday.  This is the most recent photo I have.)

Symptoms:
*nausea has pretty much gone sianara babay!  I'm still taking a pill every morning, but that's just because it's habit now.  I'm going to start weening off and see what happens. (crossing my fingers!)
*TIRED!!!  Oh my goodness!  I do not remember being this tired with Corbin!
*back pain.  I wish so badly that I could pop my back.
*nothing looks good on my syndrome.  I just feel fat.
*my "little" ladies aren't so little anymore.  They're getting too big for my liking to tell ya the  truth.  I wish they'd stop.
Cravings:
-apples, milk, cheese, yogurt, wheat bread with butter, blueberries, strawberries, chocolate, lemonade...
Names:
I'm really loving Cohen.  (Middle name is chosen, but still a secret)


So to the point of this post.
I really don't think about it too much.  I've always just put it into my head that 
this baby WILL come at full term.
When I picture my labor and after I always picture water breaks, excitement, phone call to my mom to come watch Corbin, rush to the hospital, give birth, be able to hold my baby right after, and best of all-
take baby home with us when we leave the hospital
But then today I had a moment of  "wow.  It is a real possiblility that this baby could  come early."
Like Thanksgiving early.
I can't even begin to explain how it feels to have your baby in the hospital for THREE months 
before you can take him home.
(This isn't meant for a pity party for me...I just want to remember these moments.)
I want so badly to just bring home our baby.
Nurse him.
Love him back to sleep in the middle of the night.
Have a newborn in our home.
There is so much worry involved going to the NICU everyday.
If your baby is going to make it...

So to my sweet little boy,
Please stay with me until at least February.
I promise you can meet Santa next Christmas.
I promise I will love you even if your a chunky monkey and not a string bean like your brother. ;)
You need to stay with me and do your growing so you can come home and love on your big brother.
We love you so much!



4 comments:

  1. You're good at using words to kinda describe what you went through! I hope this little man does wait! How exciting that Corbin gets to have a little brother, they can be best friends! Hope you keep feeling better, & take all the naps you can! :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Those pictures bring back so many memories. I hope and pray that you go full term this time. Having a second baby in the NICU is harder than the first in some ways, even if it's a shorter stay. Good luck and take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can show you some fat cause girl, you do not have it! It really doesn't matter though. Anytime you body changes it can be hard regardless of your size. I bet Aaron is loving the new found changes in the girls! Although bigger is better is way overrated in my opinion. :) You look great! I hope you get to go full term or at least a lot closer to it this time. I love Cohen btw. So cute!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just to let you know, you can get your back popped. ;) ha ha. Going to a really good chiropractor can actually be really good for pregnancy and birth. And even for newborn babies. Anyway, you are so cute! And I hope you can take your baby home with you this time too, really. I hope you can nurse him and have the whole experience this time. Keep thinking positive, and pray! We will pray for you too. :)

    ReplyDelete