Friday, February 3, 2012

Eternal Covenants

(I promised grandma I'd post this video. :)  It's of Corbin pulling himself up for the first time!  I only scooted him forward a bit so he wouldn't face plant it.  YAY for Corbin!)

I had to throw  this photo in of Corbin.  I cooked a steak for the first time a couple weeks ago, and we gave Corbin some to chew on.  Oh boy, did he love it!

So.  To the point of this post.  I was talking to a friend of mine earlier.  She seemed to be struggling with something so I asked her what was wrong.  She said that marriage was weighing on her.  I was confused because it wasn't that long ago, at all, when she got married.  So I was a bit concerned.  

I know they say that the first year of marriage is the toughest.  I agree with that in a sense.  Being married is a big change from being single.  You go from staying out late, buying whatever you want, going out with friends etc to putting someone before yourself, having more of a budget and your "late nights with friends" turns into nights with the hubby.  But a whole heap of change comes if you discover that your spouse is trying to change you.  There is a perfect quote that I just can not find that goes right along with this, but here are two that I like too that fit.

"We come to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

"Therefore, when we focus on finding the right person, we should also focus on becoming the right person for someone else. The strengths we bring to a marriage will undoubtedly contribute to the success of the marriage."

So not only do we need to realize the person we choose to marry is not perfect; we need to realize that we are not perfect either.  We need to begin to become the right person that someone else would want to marry. A lot of growing will come with being married to the person you choose, but in order to find the person you want to have to be on the path to becoming the person you want to be.  So when you do find that person, and he finds you, you'll know he loves you for who you are and no one else.  He's not falling in love with "who you want to be."  He's falling in love with who you are.  Or vice versa (she/he)  We don't buy an old honda civic, that's falling apart, hoping that if we nag it enough it'll change into a brand new ford edge with no defects.  That's not how it works.  

People wonder why there are so many divorces.  I'm no expert on the matter, but one is communication.  Communication is key.  But two, people marry thinking they can change the other person.  Why do they do that!?  I haven't the slightest clue.  Why do people buy homes thinking, "oh...that's not really what I want, but I guess I can live with it?"  There are  We're not going extinct.  There is not race or competition to get married first or whatever.  Another key is timing.  Marry in the right time...the right timing helps lead to the right person.  Of course, there is no "soul mate" but you get my gist.  A spouse is not a "project" that you fix up.  Your spouse is the one you chose.  Your spouse is the one person you asked your Heavenly Father about.  You knelt before Him and asked if it'd be okay if you married this certain daughter/son of His.  You didn't ask, "Is it okay if I marry this person so I can change him/her into the person I really want them to be?"  wrong. You fell in love with who that person is.  You qualified him or her to be your eternal companion.  No one is perfect.  Don't go trying to fix up what you chose. 

It's okay to grow together and change in that sense.  Each of us grows and changes individually every day, a lot of that change comes with marriage.  But these changes go along in harmony with the marriage and strengthens the doesn't tear it apart.  This kind of change isn't a forceful one.  It's one that happens gradually and it's a very good progression.  We're continuously growing, progressing and changing. 

Each year of marriage brings new obstacles, challenges, joys, tears, laughter etc.  All of which make us stronger and fall more in love.  I don't like it when I hear older couples say things like, "oh you two are still just wait." or "we just fell out of love..."  I may be a newlywed, but I can see the path we're taking--and it's a good one.  I fall more and more in love with Aaron every day.  I can say with 100% honesty that I love Aaron more today than I ever have before.  You think that those first few months is the peak of the "love," but people, the love grows and grows and grows IF your marriage is in accordance to the Gospel, and if you keep your marriage vows. If you keep your Heavenly Father in your marriage and strive to live the Gospel Principles, and strive to all the spirit to always be a part of your life together and in your home.  If not, well than it's all a waste.

...mawaige is what brings us together today...


  1. gramma is smitten...i love to see you grow and get cuter every single day...u have my heart in your tiny little have the best mommy and daddy you could have ever are so loved...

  2. Haili, loved this post. Marriage is suppose to be work, but that's what makes it worth it. :) I'm going on 4 years of marriage, and we have had to grow a lot, but I love having a worthy person to grow with... and the joy of being an eternal family and bringing little spirits into this world together! And even though meshing two very different people together can be hard, but I love the "differences" my husband has from me! (like how patient he is or he is a way better listener than me!) Good luck to your friend, she is lucky to have you... and I hope you gave her this advice! You're awesome! Corbin is sooooooooooo cute!!!

  3. I loved your post!! It is SO true that marriage combined with living the gospel fully is what creates our "happily ever after." I didn't like it when people would tease us about being newlyweds and not really knowing what's coming, or that the "first year is the hardest." Just like you said, it's all about attitude! I am so glad that you found the love of your eternity, and am glad that you are happy with your little family! :)