Where to begin...
This post is more just as a outlettoexpressallmythoughts kind of post. I really have nothing of importance to say, well importance to anyone other than me, but my journal just wont cut it right now.
So the first Sunday of the month was not considered fast Sunday in our ward, but we didn't know at the time and "fasted" anyways. (the reason for the quotations around the word fasted will be explained in a minute) So this last Sunday our ward did fast Sunday, and so I fasted again. Saturday night I asked my husband how to really sincerely fast. You see, I feel like I've never really fasted for a reason, or I've not done it the right way. The only times I ever remember truly fasting was if someone asked our family to take part in a big family fast for something of importance. Even then, I have just always felt like I haven't ever put my whole heart into fasting. It's sort of embarrassing to talk about because fasting is such a huge...thing in the Gospel, and I feel like I've failed with it for so long. Anyways, Sunday I did a true fast, and to tell you the honest truth, I didn't think about how hungry I was, or the noises my stomach was probably making all throughout church. And when church was over and we went home and I wanted to stuff my mouth with food I quickly reminded myself the reason I was fasting and the hunger quickly went away. Seriously the coolest thing ever.
This brings me to all these thoughts and thinking going on upstairs. I guess I've always had this impression that after you finished a fast you should receive whatever it is you fasted for...sometimes that can happen, just as a lot of prayers are answered fast. Some are answered in time, and some are answered with an answer you maybe didn't want, but the answer you got is always the one you need. I've been thinking of what I fasted for this whole week and truly pondering about it. It's making me really dig deep and try to understand things, the important things. So even though I'm still in a rut and don't fully have an answer I am so grateful for the opportunity we have to fast. I know that if I truly have something that I need an answer to, or someone I wish to fast for, and I keep that in my thoughts during church, pondering for an answer, it will be answered in His timing.
One of my friends is very good at getting together with all of her girlfriends once in a while now that they're all married and some have children. She says she feels it's important to have that girl time once you're married. You need you time. You need to have those girlfriends that you can confide in, laugh with, be yourself with, go out on the town with etc...you just do. I think we forget, once we get married, how important good girlfriends really are. We get swept off our feet into, what I like to call, "newlywedism," and sometimes forget about those good bonds we had with our girls. Then, when we have kids, we throw away "me" time. We want to spend all our time with our baby and neglect ourselves. We need that time. It's not a selfish thing. Our children will be grateful we took that time to ourselves to refresh ourselves and relax. Those good friendships of ours is a great way to get that "me" time. I am so grateful to have so.many.great.friends. You know you have good friends when your husband says, "man, she is a good friend. I want a guy friend like that." ha ha. thanks for making my husband jealous Lizzie. ;) I love all my girlfriends so much. I don't get that away time with any of them though, because they all live 2hrs or more away from me. Can we just squish all of our cities together so I can hang out with them? kthanks.
So all of these thoughts...now written out and yet I didn't even get out what I've been really thinking deeply about...go figure.
Other than all that! I love Aaron's new job. I love that we can have family scripture reading and family prayer every night, and I especially love that we can have Family Home Evening now. Oh, and we get Saturday, Sunday AND Monday together. It's the best! Life is....goooooood!