I think this year I have a new perspective on this time of year. Growing up Christmas was all about getting fun things and buying gifts for everyone I knew. Then I got married two days before Christmas...so that Christmas was a little hectic. The next Christmas our baby boy was born just a week before, 3 months early. So Christmas was a little...off. This year...this year is different. I have a husband who I love so much, and a little angel baby who I feel so blessed and honored to be his mom. I don't feel adequate enough to be a mom at all. Majority of the time I wonder if I'm doing everything I can to help him develop correctly, teaching him by example in the ways I should, if he's going to grow up and be the son who will be an example to those in his life. I worry. As I'm sure most moms do. But I love Corbin so much. I love his sweet little face. I love his laugh, his smile, his hugs...everything about him is perfect.
So this year as we were making our Christmas lists, as to who to buy for, and what to buy for them--I stopped. I always want to buy something for everyone who I know, because I feel everybody deserves to know I was thinking about them. I realized I just cant do that. My husband helped me see this. We have two sets of parents now, two sets of siblings, two sets of cousins, friends, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. So many people we love. We can't do it all; especially as newlyweds...well your budget doesn't allow to get everyone what you know they would love. My friend Lizzie and I were talking about doing a "homemade Christmas" this year. Meaning everyone we got gifts for we would make them, instead of buying. Which, I think Lizzie is doing better at than I am. My husband and I narrowed our Christmas list down to just our parents...and I snuck in my Lizzie girl. ;) he he. So as I was thinking hard about what to get my mom I was stumped. I always try to spend more on people, and the gifts dont ever seem to mean a lot. I then thought of the perfect gift for my mom, a perfect gift I can not say because my mom reads this blog! But I will say it's absolutely PERFECT and priceless. This will be a gift she will treasure forever, and it will be a Christmas she'll remember because this gift was well thought out, carefully hand picked, full of love and so much more. It's a gift I am very very proud of.
I guess where I am trying to go with all this is that Christmas isn't about how much money you spend, or how many people you buy for. It's about remembering those you love. It's about our Savior. It's about being the best you that you can be. It's about finding that calmness and peace that our Savior brought to this world. It's about remembering what we are here for, knowing where we can turn when we can't do it by ourselves anymore. It's about finding your testimony, strengthening those who are weak, loving those dear to your heart more uncondtionally. It's about giving freely and being there for anybody. About being humble and remembering that no one is perfect. To let go of anger and fear. Our Heavenly Father and Savior love us so so much. Sometimes it's hard to grasp just how much....
sometimes we lose our way and feel so far off the path that we don't see any point of trying to get back on.
sometimes we have bad experiences with the church and go astray.
we think that we're not 'fit' to follow the guidelines of the Gospel.
we don't have time to go to all of church.
some are single and feel 'out of place' in church.
The only place we should EVER feel out of place is when we aren't living the Gospel. When we aren't praying. When we aren't reading our scriptures, going to the temple, and being an example of our Savior. When we are in the temple, at church, living the Gospel...that's when we will feel at home. Sometimes, if we have lost our way, that feeling of home doesn't come automatic, but I believe as we pray and live the way we, deep down inside, know we should...we will feel more at home in our daily lives than ever. I think my hope for this new year is that all those who ever feel lost...will find their way back home.