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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Faith

Corbin update:  Well they say it’s always 2 steps forward 1 step back.  Well Corbin has been doing so so well; so I guess we were getting too used to the steps forwards.  He had a step back today.  The last couple of days he has been de-sating. (Oxygen level in his blood dropping below normal.)  They tried giving him more caffeine but that wasn’t working; he still kept desating.  So they ended up having to put back on the CPAP.  (a tube that goes up his little nose that is attached to a big bottle of water that pushes air into him to keep his lungs inflated.)  His lungs are a little more deflated than they should be.  (Which is totally normal for preemies.)  He has no infections or anything though so that’s good.  So even though what he is doing is completely normal it’s still really frustrating.  We just want him to keep improving.  He is still gaining weight though.  He’s 2lbs 10oz now.  He is so gosh darn cute and I miss him and practically cry everytime I leave him.  I want him home.  I want to hold him without any tubes and wires attached to him.  I can’t imagine the mothers who have to have their babies in the NICU for a year or longer.  This is not something I would wish on anybody.  I am so thankful I have a husband who I love soo much and we can get through all this together.  I continue to feel Heavenly Fathers’ hand in Corbin’s road to recovery.  We also feel the love and faith of the prayers that are being sent our way.  I again can’t thank ya’ll enough.  I appreciate those prayers more than you know.  I’ve really begun to see how fragile and precious life is since Corbin’s been born. 

I didn’t set any New Years Goals this year because at the end of every year I seem to look back and realize that I didn’t fully accomplish any of my goals.  Not a great feeling.  So this year I am just going to try to better some personal things of mine. Such as:

Instead of saying “I will read the entire book of Mormon”  I’ll say- I want to read my scriptures more regularly (So this way if I don’t read say 2 chapters everyday I wont feel like I have to catch up.  I’ll be happy that I’m reading more often than not and eventually get in a habit of reading often.)

The present is a gift.  With that being said, I want to try and write in my journal of times when I felt Heavenly Fathers’ hands in my life and of times I want to remember. 

I’ve also decided to work on a personal characteristic aka quality about myself as well.  This year I want to try and focus on being more selfless. 

So I guess these are pretty much goals but they’re not unreachable goals and they’re not dead set “have to do this many things by this time” goals, and that’s what I’m going for.  This year will definitely be different.  A good different.  It got a crazy start that is for sure but we’re ready for the ride!! 

3 comments:

  1. you're an amazing mommy! You are so brave, and already so selfless. Thank you for your example. Baby corbin is lucky to have you as a mommy. He is such a brave, strong boy. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this, but take this time with your sweet boy and cherish it. Just stop and look at him forever and know that he will get better and will grow up big and strong. I can't believe how fast it all really does go by.

    Let me know if you need anything. and when we come down, for morgans farewell, I want to come see you! Let me know if that's ok. :)

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  2. So proud of you, Hai! Love you!

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  3. I'm lovin' the new year's goals...very attainable!

    Thinking of you and yours and praying for your frequently!

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